FAKER PIG!!

For several years my husband has wanted to raise a few pigs and my answer each time has been an emphatic "NO WAY, JOSE!" (even thought his name is Steve...)  Well, time takes it's toll and finally I said, "Fine, but I don't want to have anything to do with them!"  I should have known better... 

These pigs were dropped off at our house while we were at a track meet so our first order of business was unloading them from the crate and getting them into their new home.  This proved to be a task much more difficult than I ever imagined it to be.  These things were acrobats!  I mean, they were graceful like ballerinas at times and at others I swear they grew wings and could fly!! You know that saying, "When pigs fly?" well guess what!  I have seen it with my own eyes and they...can....FLY!! They squeezed through little tiny spaces they never should have been able to fit in, they sailed over barricades and zigged and zagged like the best NFL running back!  I was hot, sweaty and exhausted when finally, the pigs were in their pen.  All was well, or so I thought. 

The next morning I went out to do the chores and one of the pigs had a swollen rear leg and she was limping around – alas, it was broken.  A couple of days later, the pig was down on it's side.  The vet indicated that it would heal, but that we would lose the ham on that leg.  So began a twice-daily saga of caring for the pig.  This entailed two of us, almost always Dylan and I, (see what I mean about the earlier statement of not being involved in the care of these pigs was really a waste of breath for me?) holding the pig up into a semi sitting position while the other shoveled food towards its mouth in a bucket and then repeating the process with a bucket of water.  Needless to say neither job was desirable. This had gone on for nearly two weeks and both of us were more than a little tired of this added chore.

One day Dylan and walked into the barn quieter than normal and what did we see?  Both pigs STANDING in their pen and playing by throwing straw into the air!  "Awesome!  The pig is better!  We don't have to do this anymore!"  Dylan exclaimed.  When the injured pig heard him, she immediately threw herself onto her side and moaned, groaned and acted completely helpless.  She had been faking us out for who knows how long!?!  She was a FAKER PIG!!!  It probably didn't help much when Dylan and I both reacted very childishly by pointing and calling the pig names.  Needless to say, we simply left the food and water and walked away, all the while she lay there acting all helpless, rolling her eyes, you know, putting on a real show!  After a few feedings, she must have realized that the gig was up and started moving about the pen holding her own with the other more able-bodied pig.  We called her 'Gimps A Lot' after that and I might add that she was delicious!